booze, blunts and pills

this ain’t the first blunt am about to put away.

it’s not going to be the last anyway.

a year ago I wouldn’t have done this.  I remember killing my ex for smoking Dunhills near me.  oh, how lucky he was!  I wish I would  have known earlier then this ashtray would not be the eighth I have put away.

wow!  and they say that this shit is bad!  Kevin who?  yea I know he hurt me,  so what anyway! am going to find somebody better to flag our ship with.

Kate told me to let the hurt in but that was just bull…  why hurt when he is already spanking another.  feel good moments!  he updates his status.  feel good!  well, am wasting away watching all these boring romance movies and listening to love songs wishing he would understand my pain.  the pain he left and that void he placed in me.

so I keep bleeding.

images-6photocredit:pinetrest.com

I know it ain’t going away anytime soon so why not live in oblivion for a while.

it ain’t going to be forever anyway. so all of it was a lie?  the way he puppied up to me and I rescued him from the pain.  took only to deflower me and he was wagging his mighty tail!  am going to cut it one day Kevin.

this silly roomies pretending to read while looking at me with judgy eyes. I know if they had the gutts they would ask.  “so where is he? ” yea they were all killing themselves when he came over and did all the PDA the world knew.  don’t worry roomies,  this ain’t bhang,  it’s pot.  they just both have the same effect you know.

oh crap am getting sober.

nothing that a bottle of gin can’t fix.

 

black-white-martini-23638966-1photocredit:dreamstine.com

I hate that you are the one who taught me how to mix gin perfectly with krest. no worries by the time am half way the bottle,  you will be long gone and if not I Will just pop up one of them pills.

so guys don’t understand.  Kate keeps showing up at my house pretending to check up on me.  I know what you are doing.  checking if the smoke,  drink and pills have killed me yet.

I should break this mirror on the wall.

stranger-in-the-mirrorphotocredit:bowalleyroad.blogspot.com

man!  I have thinned up!  damn!  what can I do about it when every meal just reminds me of that tail wagging beast.  don’t get me wrong he ain’t no dog.  and who ever said all men are dogs?  dogs are much better than that person.  see I can’t even remember his name!  so I bought a t-shirt written ‘you going to burn like paper’.

so I bought a t-shirt written ‘you going to burn like paper’.  man!  I have thinned up!  damn!  what can I do about it when every meal just reminds me of that tail wagging beast.  don’t get me wrong he ain’t no dog.  and who ever said all men are dogs?  dogs are much better than that person.  see I can’t even remember his name!  so I bought a t-shirt written ‘you going to burn like paper’

oh i had already said that.

mocanu-bw-blackwhite-tremendo-artistic-black-and-white-photography-woman-sadness-sad-beauty_largephotocredit:dailyurbanista.com

it doesnt make no sense right now.  back then it made so much sense.  point is I will still wear it to class tomorrow and I will make sure you see it.  I hope it will make the sense I meant for it to.  or maybe you’ll just be rolling with your friends.

if it won’t I will just pop a pill and class will be over in not less than five seconds. you just… for…  got about… us…  like we…  never happe…  happened…
they are….  just…  starting to…  kick in…  soon I…  will….  be…  somewhere…  not even…  your memory can… interfere….  just…  one…  more…  pill…  and…  I will…

7 thoughts on “booze, blunts and pills

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