TOP TEN KICK ASS AFRICAN MOVIES

Proud of our motherland

If you call yourself an African and have never watched any of the following movies, you better change your citizenship ship and bleach yourself. Everyone that calls Africa; mother, should have watched this. But if you haven’t watched, thanks to the internet and glory to kick ass torrents, you are on your way to reclaiming your citizenship!

  1. SARAFINA!(1992- S.A)

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I will start you off with this one because of the sentimental value it has for us Africans. It’s a movie set in colonial Africa (south Africa actually but allow us to get some credit people of Mandela) featuring a school girl(Sarafina) who is all about ‘power to the people’ sired by her teacher( Whoopi Goldberg) who opens up their minds to the current situation in south Africa. It is a very energetic movie featuring dances, songs, and riots( our African way) and you will remain glued to your screen as the wave of emotion( and lots of anger) sweeps you away. We got to watch this one on tapes but if you are finding out about it now, let the internet help you.

  1. THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY(1980-BOTSWANA)

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Yea! Now this was just amazing! Also set in the south of our motherland (this time Botswana) is a story about a bushman who is on a journey of returning a coke bottle that has caused lots of havoc when introduced to his community.  On his way, he encounters challenges in the city; challenges he hasn’t come across being from the bush (see what I did there).  The story also has other characters like a certain rogue army that causes chaos in the city and another Mzungu guy with issues around women. It is a funny story that won’t disappoint like this review of it!

  1. GUELWAAR(1993-SENEGAL)

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Now this one is different from the others (apart from being set in Senegal) it is deeply emotional and full of conflicts that represent the true nature of a person. It tells the story of human rights activist who dies and his body is denied to his family who are Christians only to be found in a Muslim cemetery; this sets the first conflict. Then the other conflict is on the character of Guelwaar who was seen as a ‘saint’ by his community but we find out that he has his own skeletons in his closet (if he owns one). Apart from this conflict, the story will provoke you into thinking about the issues that our society faces. SubhanAllah!

  1. NAIROBI HALF-LIFE(2012-KENYA)

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Drum rolls, please! Damn! Don’t I just love my country! This one is set in Kenya! The best thing about it is that it is current, representing the real Kenyan situation and above all in sheng’; our official language and maybe so that others don’t understand it but hey, all of you understand and we even got a nomination for some academy! The story is about a young man with a dream to become an actor only to join a gang and his life will be hanging by a thread. All Kenyans will have to agree that NHL is the movie of all movies!

Have we chosen to be the way we are?

 

 

  1. THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND(UGANDA)

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And I put this one here because I don’t want Ugandans up on my butt!  Am actually conflicted between this one and the rise and fall on Idi Amin! I guess the mentioning of another movie by Ugandans will grant me a pardon! So there you go! A doctor from Scotland becomes the personal physician and advisor of Idi Amin only to realize that the guy is actually a terrible guy. You didn’t see that one coming did you doc? You have greatly disappointed your father son!

 

  1. THE BATTLE OF ALGIERS(1966-ALGERIA)

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Finally in countries that we are shocked to hear are in Africa! (No offense Egypt).  Well, it’s almost as old as the independence of some of our countries; it’s even in black and white and taking the documentary style! Dear lord. But it’s a great movie based on true events! So, like many of our films, it’s about the battle of independence, this time, Algeria fighting against France. It’s been acclaimed as a very emotional story. A witty Algerian criminal is employed by the African side (FLN) to outwit the French guys. It’s an ugly war as the innocent citizens are killed and the less militant side is defeated. Although it is said ‘the French might have won the battle of Algiers but finally lost the battle of Algeria!’ yay!!!!

  1. AFRICA UNITED(2010-RWANDA and the rest of Africa)

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Oh God! The title is so emotional! And looking at the year you know what was happening in Africa! World cup!!! Tsamina mina eh eh waka eh eh eh! Thank you, Shakira! We don’t care whether it was in a country that is so developed we don’t consider it African, it is still in Africa! (You gold diggers) see what I did there? So back to the movie! A group of Rwandan children set out to walk 3000 miles to go watch the world cup in South Africa. That just sets the African dream that we all have. But mother says ‘Africa does not need dreams, it needs to wake up.’  there is one who dreams of being a doctor who can cure AIDS, another is writing and dreams of creating a ball that will never burst ‘ the ball that God gave to Africa.’ It is a story that will carry you along with it as it relates to every African child and unites kids from other countries! African united!

I just realized that this is the longest review! This time for Africa!

  1. THE MEETING( 2013-NIGERIA)

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Of course, we cannot go this far in a list without mentioning a movie from Nigeria. That is continentcide; they are undoubtedly the Hollywood of Africa; I mean Nollywood! It is a romantic comedy involving an older man; (trying to make a presentation to the minister but keeps on missing him because; you know Oyo) and a younger woman. It is a truly entertaining and jovial movie that will encourage one to eat popcorn (unlike the many that are on this list; you will cry too much, you won’t be able to eat anything for days). So go for it and the million Nigerian movies that are much better than this one but this one has more nominations for some academy.

  1. TSOTSI(2005-SOUTH AFRICA)

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Well, I have to go back to South Africa because this movie won an Oscar for best foreign language (I thought foreign was Europe and America) film in 2006. It is a great movie, though, revolving around the life of a thug who takes a baby from a woman that arouses emotions in him and could be the one that changes his life and finally redeems it!

  1. CAIRO STATION (1958-EGYPT))

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Europeans! Please do me a favor and stop making us imagine that Egypt is not in Africa! I only found out it’s in Africa when I came across the map of Africa! I used to think that it was somewhere in Europe near Greece.

In the dawn of such a century, it is almost impossible to imagine the portrayal of such sexual desires and the degree of the madness of Qinawi. He falls in love with a woman betrothed to another but he is almost drawn to madness thinking that he won’t have this woman. The feral nature of the movie combined with the madness of Qinawi is something that will be appreciated by many by imaging that it was set in such a year!

 

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